2 Comments

Hey there kyell gold! Loved the piece. I’m listening to a course from the greater courses on editing. They recommended a complementary sandwhich as a part of feedback. I was hoping to practice before my next critique meeting okay here it goes :)

1. First complement

- I liked how the grey dress showed the strictness of miss Davis while Ellie’s blue dress being ruffled made it evident from a lack of questions about Ellie’s travel to display miss Davis’s already low opinion of Ellie stone

2. Something constructive

-(not as good on this one lol) is it set in the south? Yesm is a bit of the southern vernacular. Could you include the phrase fixing to do in the novel? I’m a southerner and it would be great to see more of it(more of a proof read critique instead of line edit but I have ten minutes at work)

3. Another complement

- couldn’t think of another detailed example . I did like the way both characters quickly ran away from the train station and the physique differences

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Thanks! Good luck in your course!

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